Backsliding Happens

Hello friends! Life has been quite a whirlwind lately…

Last month, my husband and I sold our home of 18 years. Much like 4 years ago when I left my career of 23 years, with such a significant transition there is an influx of emotions: excitement, sadness and fear. On any given day, I swung between all those emotions (and many more!) with the intensity of a Level 5 hurricane.

I know I talk a lot about meditation because for WOBO women this is probably the most effective method of getting out of that overwhelmed state. If not for meditation and cultivating stillness and silence, I would have retreated long ago. I would not have had the strength or courage to let go of the fakery and embrace the real me; I would not have regained my health and vitality.

I know how terrifying and daunting the idea of meditation can be. However, you know- just as I did- that it’s exactly what you need. You need to slow down and settle the constant chatter in your mind in order to get unstuck. I was able to go from > 10 seconds to 30+ minutes of silent meditation and so can you!

Prior to starting my practice in October 2011, I had tried unsuccessfully for 10 years. Really. No lie. I tried and tried. I could not sit still in silence for even 10 seconds. My mind would be running a mile a minute, thinking about all the things I needed to do. Often, I would open one eye, look at the clock and curse to the high heavens because it hadn’t even been a minute! WTF?! It felt like an eternity!!

Anyway, back to the last two months: as I managed the move and sale of our house I felt entirely overwhelmed again. What did I do to deal with everything that I was thinking, feeling, and doing? I so fell back into old patterns. It was like I hadn’t learned a damn thing in the last 4+ years! I brilliantly decided that it was a good time to not meditate. WTH? Why did I do that? Because I was in reaction-mode.

What became of me in the last 8 weeks, since I meditated maybe 4 times? I spiraled right to a place that I know oh so well, a place that I spent most of my days for the past 3 decades – overwhelmed, depressed, angry, judgmental, and exhausted. It did not feel good. Not at all. I didn’t have to go there. I have the tools to do it differently. Ugh!

I was reminded that life will always have challenges and that with joy comes pain, with night comes day, and with happiness comes despair. I was reminded that my meditation practice not only provides me with great joy and peace, but also grounds me and centers me so I can traverse all of life’s moments with more ease and grace.

So what will I do next time I’m dealing with a challenging time?

  1. Ask for help. I have people who are supporting me and I can tell them, please make sure I meditate throughout this time.
  2. Let go of all or nothing. Let go of perfection. During such crazy times, it may not be possible to get in 30 minutes but I know that even 5-10 minutes makes a difference.
  3. Be deliberate. When I get in this state, I’m just running. I will plan out my week ahead of time, including my self-care.
  4. Be kind to myself. Remember that I’ve come a long way. That even when I slip, I don’t slip as far and I don’t stay there as long.

Have you started to cultivate a meditation practice? How do you meet a challenge with ease grace? I’d love to hear how it’s going. Leave me a note in the comments below.


Back to top ^